LARISSA HADJIO CRAB BAG

It's a bag. In the shape of a crab! What's not to like? Needless to say, I really want one. 

Crab bag and all images from Larissa Hadjio 

MISSING - ONE LEATHER JACKET

Yep. My favourite leather jacket is still missing. I think it's been lost since early May, about the 3rd or 4th and leaving the house takes much longer because I can't just throw it on. 

Now that over 3 weeks have passed and nothing has been seen in any of the likely places (my house, my parent's house, the car etc) I am beginning to accept that I will need to replace it. I will go high street hunting this Bank Holiday weekend, but I'm not overly hopeful. ASOS, for once, has failed me and I haven't seen anything in the magazines that looks like me either. 

The main criteria are; 

Black
Slightly cropped style
3/4 or over sleeves
Minimal detailing
No waist or collar belts
No cowl neck or Rick Owens goings on...just classic cuts. 

So far only Net a Porter has come up trumps, but the the cost becomes significant. I guess if I'm going to wear it for years (my Topshop version served me well for at least 5 years) then spending lots on it isn't that bad...after all I've blown similar amounts on shoes I barely wear, but I'm trying to be less profligate these days. Is the Universe conspiring against me?

LOT78 Reese Leather Jacket £575 from Net A Porter

Theory Reanne Leather Jacket £730 from Net A Porter

Images from Net a Porter

ASOS THIGH CHAIN HARNESS

Is it wrong that I want this thigh harness from ASOS?

VELVET SLIPPERS FROM STUBBS & WOOTTON

Spring. The time of year when I can start wearing flats without socks. And yet again my attention turns to velvet slippers. These babies just aren't getting old for me - the twin associations of age and extreme wealth make them an item I love playing with. 

The Row went for velvet slippers with masculine tailoring. Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen are clearly doing something rights, because any outfit on the catwalk that brings to mind Frida Kahlo is okay by me. I love how luxe and powerful this look is. If women dressed like this we would totally rule the world. 

And then Tommy Ton for Style.com - the crested velvet slipper - we're getting into old English families who 'keep' houses rather than own them. But I'm common as muck, so this isn't an option for me. 

So thank you Man Repeller, for reminding me that anything the UK can do, the USA can do, if not better, then really bloody different. Sod crests in the New World. We're going to put men with maracas on ours. We're filthy rich with a sense of humour. 

I'd never heard of Stubbs & Wootton - we don't have it in the UK, and a quick glance at the website convinced me that if I went into any one of the physical stores in the US I may be tempted to a go a bit Michael Douglas on the average clientele, but you have to admit they do a nice line in tapestry / velvet slippers...

Jane Black 

Clover Black 

Bee Black

Nite n Day  - my personal favourites

Crest Black 

All nice, huh? 

But then to stop me in my tracks and remind me just why I hate obnoxious rich collegiate types, and why I shouldn't buy velvet slippers even if I think I'm subverting them by taking them out of context, Stubbs & Wootton have thrown these into the works. The most singularly unpleasant pair of shoes I have ever seen, worn by people who must truly be the biggest assholes on the planet. 

College 

Images - Style.com, Tommy Ton for Style.com, Man Repeller, Stubbs & Wootton 

Mulberry Bird Print

photos - Style.com 

Obsessed with the bird print on the Mulberry A/W 11 catwalk. I've spied some wooden bird badges in Magma on Earlham street that I could cover a cardigan or jumper with and create a twitchers paradise. 

Jil Sander Floral Print Skirt

I am in love with the print on this Jil Sander skirt, £490 from Net A Porter. Just looking at it makes me want to have a cream tea in the garden. 

Images - Net A Porter

Cambridge Satchel Company Green Satchel

I need this bag from ASOS in my life. How amazing is that green? It's the most perfect summer satchel, from the Cambridge Satchel Company, and I am plotting acquisition. Why didn't I have one when I was a student? 

My Australian Shopping List

Gorman afro pants $229 

These amazing boots by Melbourne designer Kate Carnegie in which to live out all awesome pirate fantasies. I can't find a website or stockist page, but she does have an email, katecarnegie@live.com 

Sass & Bide snakeskin print jeans

Bonds stuff - just because. I love these high waisted knickers, although I know they'd look rubbish on me. Still, their tees and jersey lounge pants are great. (images from Bonds.com.au) 

Treat size bag of Carmello Koala chocolates to make fitting into the above trousers and things all the more difficult. And plenty of issues of Grazia and Shop. 

Prada Platform Brogues

I only own a couple of a pairs of Prada shoes - but I have a feeling that this season that will change dramatically. Every single offering from the Prada Spring / Summer 11 collection floats my boat. 

The platform brogue. Who knew I needed this in my life? Miuccia Prada, that's who. 

The woven summer sandal. This is a holiday in shoe form. 

Less platform, still fabulous. Loving the model's blister plaster. See, they are human too!

Blue or red? The choice is going to be a toughie...

And lord knows, I LOVE me a wedge, especially one with a fancy coloured sole. 

However, in the spirit of avoiding homelessness due to excessive spending thrift, I think these are the ones I'll be getting if I'm lucky. Brown and orange. The colours of my summer. To be worn with purple silk pants and a green or orange Whistles silk shirt. Yup yup. 

All photos from Style.com 

ASOS Seamed Biker Leather Skinny Trousers

I have major lust for these leather biker trousers from ASOS. They're not practical and they cost almost £100 so I've decided to wait until after New York to see if they're still in stock. If they are it's fate. That's how I roll. 

Raf Simons for Jil Sander - Colour Block Clash Pant Suits

OBSESSION. 

Jil Sander's latest collection (S/S 2011) designed by Raf Simons was a favourite if the latest magazine photoshoots are to be believed. So far the skirts seem to be getting the editorial treatment all over the shop, after all, they look great on 6 foot gazelles. But normal women like myself do not need a bubble of fabric around the hips, so those skirts and tee shirt combos are out. The bright pant suits and lean tailoring however are so in. I am dying to wear these colours. 

All photos taken from Style.com 

I am salivating at these pictures. I think I need a tailor. 

Why so serious?

Ah. Back at work. If, like me, you need a pick me up then I offer you a selection of utterly stupid but totally fabulous bags that will raise a smile and hopefully lift your mood. One of the things I love about fashion is how silly it can be - there's room for a whacking great gonk bag and an elegant chiffon dress. Because you can be funny and care about your appearance at the same time (although someone should probably tell this to Sarah Silverman's and Tina Fey's stylists). 

Katie Grand with a dinosaur Giles bag. Jealous? Moi? Image from http://alltheprettybirds.blogspot.com/  

Eva Fontanelli, with an amazing duck bag, again from All The Pretty Birds

And another Giles bag...this time the Gremlin one. Sorry to be very 2010, but OMFG. Tommy Ton for Style.com

Bruno Frisoni Fish Print Shoes

Bruno Frisoni fish shoes. How amazing? On sale at Far Fetch. If you get them please let me borrow them. Thanks. 

Billy the Christmas Dog

This is the dog I spend all day with at work. I know...I am so lucky it's untrue. He is this cute all the time. My phone photo album is about 70% dog now because of this little one. 

ASOS | ASOS Peter Pan Swing Jumper at ASOS

ASOS | ASOS Peter Pan Swing Jumper at ASOS

Me wanty.